The 25 Worst Christmas Songs

In the spirit of the Christmas season, here’s a list of 25 Christmas pop songs, ranked and categorized from best to worst. Spoiler: there’s only one good one. Maybe.

Harry Potter: Idiot

Let’s just come right out and say it: Harry Potter is a moron.

Joe Rojo

He exists as a cavalier and aloof Spaniard playing haunting piano music, tormenting his listeners with the promise of a relationship that can never truly exist.

Gates of Paradise

In Florence, you have to fight through a ring of people 10 deep just to get a glimpse of it.

Running Out of Toilet Paper

We’re claiming that the comfort of our backside is greater than the life of a tree, or rather, millions of trees.

To Be 20 Again

He was on his feet the whole show. He was singing along. He was telling me in between songs how amazing this show was. He was dancing every now and then. It was goofy, embarrassing, and infectious. If transcendence is real, he was transported away.